Worries of a Mommy-To-Be of Two

August 24, 2012 by 11 Comments

I have seen a similar themed post on pretty much every blogger pregnant with baby #2′s blog, which makes me feel like what I’m about to write about is totally normal.

newbornBraden
I have always known that I wanted more than one child. I just prayed that God would bless us with more children, and praise Him because here we are – almost 30 weeks pregnant with Baby #2. I’ve never wanted Braden to be a single child, but as we thought about when would be the “perfect” time to expand our family…there is no perfect time.We’re at a point with Braden right now where there’s no more diapers, he’s more independent, he sleeps wonderfully and so do we, and life is pretty darn easy and a whole lotta fun. He’s so so so much fun and we’re loving this age…but in a couple of months we’ll be starting all over again with a brand new baby. Don’t get me wrong! We know what we signed up for and we’re very happy about it…but it’s just like with any major milestone in life, it never seems like there’s a perfect time to take that leap of faith and change your life forever.
newbornBradenMommy
So what are some of my worries?

  • Guilt. Mega, mega guilt. What will Braden think when my attention almost fully goes to his brand new baby sister/brother? It’s not all about him anymore.
  • Love. I know I will love Squishy. I already do, just how I loved Braden when I was pregnant with him. But how much love can my heart hold? The love I have for Braden as his mother…I can’t even describe it – but I know you mommies out there know exactly what I’m talking about. How do you possibly love another baby as much as you love your first!? I know it’s possible! I see it all the time with my family & friends, but before it actually happens to me…I just can’t picture it all.
  • Time. How will I manage? I want to still do stuff with just Braden…but breastfeeding a new baby – how? I know that one day I’ll be able to pump and Jay or whomever can give bottles…but certainly not in the beginning. We have this family of 3 thing NAILED! It’s just so easy, so I know it will take time to adjust to being a family of 4.
  • Work. How will I go back to work? I know Jay will learn to be a father of two just as I learn to be a mother of two…but just taking care of one is so easy…how about two!? It will come, this I know…but it just seems so complicated to me right now.
  • Comparisons. Baby Squishy has some big “shoes” to fill. I will love this babe no matter if s/he is the most colicky baby on the face of the earth (PLEASE don’t be!! haha)…but Baby Braden was phenomenal. He had his sleep regression, like most babies, but other than that he was and still is to this day such an amazing baby/toddler. How can I not compare my two babies?!…but at the same time I don’t want to set “expectations” on a newborn…because really it’s just silly and there’s nothing you can do about it! But even still I can’t help but wonder that because Braden was such a good baby…does that mean I’ll “pay” for it this time?

I know these feelings are normal, and I’m actually, truly excited to be having another child and to make Braden a big brother. I know he’ll love his baby sister/brother – I just know it. It’s the kind of person that he is. But I’m just so in my comfort zone right now and change can be so scary. I’m not having anxiety attacks about this…it’s not something that has me in a constant state of worry…but it’s just things that have popped up in my brain from time to time.

newbornFamily

My friend Myndee at Fresh GraNOLA blog wrote this post on how she felt before she had her 2nd baby…and it has made me feel so much better. What are your experiences with having subsequent children?

In other news, I am 30 weeks pregnant today! 70 or so days to go. If you want to read back, here is my 30 week post from last time. Here’s a mini-update for you:

Happy dance!! Last shift!!

  • DONE WORK! In my last 30 week post I still had 8.5 weeks of work to go. I cannot imagine this time! CANNOT! Call me a princess, call me whatever you want, but I am blessed to not have to work anymore than past 30 weeks and I’m taking it. I don’t know how my colleagues work full-time 12 hour day/night lines in the 3rd trimester with other children at home, you’re heroines!
  • Sleep is juuuuuuust starting to get uncomfortable, definitely feels better to sleep with a pillow between my legs now to help with hip pain…and it feels like I have to “heave ho” to turn over with the belly now!
  • I can blame approximately 3 lbs of my pregnancy weight on the baby now!
  • Actually still feeling really good – I can still bend over Braden to put on his shoes! (Jay can’t even do this without a 30 week belly! haha!)
  • My next appointment is the beginning of September and then I go to every 2 week appointments already! Unless it’s raining I think Braden will have to come with me to my appointments, but that’s okay.
  • Varicose veins. Gross. How unsightly. Sigh. I only got a few spider veins on my lateral left knee last time…this time I have one big varicose vein, but luckily it’s well hidden…and plenty more spider veins to add to the collection.
  • I still get nauseous if I don’t eat
  • I have had no desire to exercise…at all. Probably a lot due to the extreme heat we’ve had this summer, but in all honesty – who cares? Really… I’m just trying to enjoy this and relax if I can. My daily housework is a workout in itself anyway!

And I leave you with another funny!

Pregnant Problems #2

ECGSignature

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Filed Under: baby #2, family of 4, motherhood, on my heart, pregnancy, pregnant problems   Tagged With: , , , ,

1+ Week Sans Soother

February 7, 2012 by 15 Comments

We knew it was coming. I’ve mentioned it before. We all knew…except for him. I don’t know why I had it in my head that “when Braden turns 2, we’re getting rid of the soother”. But I did…so we did. Little did I know it would feel like I was killing one of his best friends. I had some major mommy guilt, let me tell you.
Whatcha doin'!?As many of you know, Braden has 2 comfort objects. His beloved blankie and his soother. Collectively known (by him) as “duckie soo”. I really wanted to keep his soother around for selfish reasons. I wanted him to have it on our plane ride to Maui in hopes of helping with his ears, and also just to have an extra comfort item to rely on. Lately he’s been using it mostly for teething. So to bridge the gap between his soother an no soother, I gave him a Molar Muncher that I bought off a steal site awhile ago. He’s used it now and again over the months, but always preferred his soother. 
I'm a big boy!!
So on January 29, his 2nd day as a 2 year old, I took his soother away. He did ask for it for nap time, but I just said “no more soo. Soo is all gone.” We read some books like we always do and I put him down with his blankie and his munchie (Molar Muncher). He fussed, not even cried, off and on for a half hour and then had a good 2 hour nap. not too bad! I thought to myself! This gave me so much hope, I wasn’t a monster after all.
But then…came bed time.
Uh Oh! Good morning!
He didn’t ask for soo. But he sure went down fighting this time. He cried. He cried OUT for me. Do you know how heartbreaking it is to hear your child call out for you? “Mommy! Mommy!” He fussed/whined/cried off and on for 45 minutes. I do stress the one and off part, it was not constant and there were many times I thought he did fall asleep. But at the 45 minute mark, my heart couldn’t bear it anymore. I went it, we had some snuggles and rocked in the glider for awhile. I put him back down to sleep and 5 minutes later he was out. He did wake up at 11:45 and cried for 5 minutes, but put himself back to sleep.
Sucky, Lazy Boy!The next few days can be broken down like this:

Day #2: No nap and fussed for 20 minutes at bedtime. Meanwhile, I’m at work texting back and forth with Jay while tweeting to the world in desperation as to whether or not we have made the right decision. Should we have taken it? Should we wait until he’s done teething? Is it really that bad? We decided since we invested so much time already into the no soother thing…we’d just push through it, because it would be harder if we had to give it back and take it away again.
Day #3: No nap and fussed for 5 minutes at bedtime.
Day #4: No nap and fussed for 20 minutes at bedtime.
Day #5: Finally had a 2 hour nap after he fussed for 20 minutes or so and about 5 minutes of fussing at bedtime.

And so on and so forth. The fussing thing, I actually believe, has nothing to do with the no soother thing. It probably isn’t helping, but ever since about Christmas time he’s been fussing off and on at bedtime for no particular reason. He could have 3 soothers in bed with him and still fuss. He’s also so much more aware of his surroundings, that if he’s in a new place, or even if he’s in a place he’s not at all the time (like my Mom’s) he cries out and fusses for up to 10 minutes before he settles. When he settles, he typically settles all night.
Lazy MorningIt’s times like this that I am so thankful that we sleep trained him with SleepEasy. If you want, just click the links to look through my old posts, but the gist of it is…Braden knows how to self soothe and put himself back to sleep. If I followed SleepEasy by the book, he shouldn’t have kept his soother in the first place. At the time (and I still don’t regret it), I did not want to take EVERYTHING away from him when we sleep trained and felt it was necessary for him to keep his soother. Also, I never, ever was running into his room to put his soother back in his mouth 50 times a night…so nothing like that was changing for us.

As I said before, Braden was having problems settling to sleep. This happened over Christmas at Mom’s and it was even happening at home the odd time. I knew this would happen in Maui too. Pretty much every nap and bedtime for the first 3 days was up to 10 minutes of crying/fussing but then he’d be totally settled and sleep right through his nap or the night and wake up happy. This is always the sign of a well-rested Braden: waking up happy.
Lazy Morning
Had we not used SleepEasy for him or had he not been able to learn the art of self-soothing in one way or another? I imagine I would be in his room for HOURS reading books, singing rocking, praying, and begging for him to go to sleep. Not how I want to spend my should-be-child-free time on vacation….trying to get said child to sleep! I did spend extra time before lying him down singing and rocking with him and making sure he was nice and calm, but he would still fuss and cry for a bit.

I know there are tons of mamas who would disagree with letting Braden cry it out (CIO) but there is no other option for my family! I’ve done my research, Braden knows he’s not abandoned, he’s very much loved and comforted by us throughout the day. If I ran to him EVERY time he fussed or cried…neither of us would sleep, neither of us would be well rested and happy. He hasn’t been a fall-asleep-in-my-arms baby sincee he was that…maybe the last time at 4 months? This way? We all get a full night’s sleep at the price of him fussing (not even full on CRYING) for up to 10 minutes.

Has your 2ish year old(s) gone through this phase? He’s fussing almost every night, even though we’re at home now? I don’t know if it’s a new development stage? The soother? 2 year molars? Combo of everything or nothing? Just wondering your experiences!

Anywho, the soother is GONE! He hasn’t even asked for it since we have taken it away, we’re not looking back now!

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Filed Under: Braden, milestone, motherhood, sleep, sleep training, toddler  

Can You “Train” Your Children?

January 5, 2012 by 6 Comments

I read a blog post awhile ago (which the post is no longer available), and the writer pretty much has come to the realization that you cannot train your children [to sleep] because they are “human beings” and “not robots”…I, however…beg to differ!

Of course there’s that precious(ly annoying at times!) newborn stage where no matter how much you want them on a schedule, it ain’t happening. The cluster feeding, the peeing/pooping in diapers the minute after you change it, oh wait…I want a baby in the near future, let’s not think about all those things right now! BUT, there certainly does come a point in your baby’s life where, per my research and personal experience, you can “train” them. If you want some proof, please take some time to read on our experiences with using SleepEasy to sleep train/sleep learn Braden. It worked like a charm and I really believe the research/methodology behind the theory of it.

Now that we’re well on our way into toddlerhood, I still firmly believe you can train your children…to a degree. We’re working very hard on making sure Braden learns that he has to eat “x” amount of his meals before he can be “done”, as he would say. He has done REALLY well with this too, and he certainly doesn’t get dessert unless he finishes enough of his meal. He is working on his manners and cleaning up after himself too.

That being said, I have learned, at his particular age of almost 2, he cannot be trained to:

  • sit still for pictures
  • “pose” for pictures
  • not run away from me in public places

The good old bribe of “if you do ‘this’, I’ll give you a cookie!” stopped working between 22-23 months, he figured that one out pretty fast!

Daily Thomas trance...

I believe in treating infants like dogs. Before you get all fired up at me…let me explain myself a bit better!

K.I.S.S. – Keep It Simple Stupid

    • Babies, infants, toddlers…they don’t understand wordy explanations…so why bother? Keep it simple with as few words in your instructions & explanations. 
    • Example: DON’T: “You can’t have dessert today because you didn’t eat all of your supper, I told you that if you didn’t eat your supper you wouldn’t get your dessert, remember?”
    • Example: DO: “No cookie, eat your num nums.”
  • Praise
    • Braden responds really well to praise. If he puts his toys away, eats at his kid table, “good boy, Braden! Good job, Braden!” with lots of hooting and hollering…he eats it up and aims to please so he can be celebrated even more!
  • Discipline
    • I’m not quite at this stage yet as Braden doesn’t get time outs…but it’s quickly approaching. I believe in discipline, or else he’s going to end up running this household. We will be using time outs as discipline, I’m not a spanker…if Jay wants to, that’s up to him.
So that is what I meant about treating your child like a dog. Mostly in the way you “train” and “speak” to them…not tying them up outside and letting them fend for themselves…however on certainly bratty days I’ve been tempted! ;)
As always, my disclaimer is this: everyone has the right to parent whichever way they want, whatever way that works best for them and their families…but if you’re anything like me, you believe that children ARE trainable because you need your sanity! I didn’t know that I would sleep train my child, but when he was waking up every hour for no apparent reason, my friend Carley came to the rescue and saved my sanity by lending me that book. You might think I’m evil for making Braden cry it out to learn how to self soothe to get to sleep, and that’s okay…you don’t have to do it! There’s lots of parenting and child raising techniques that I do not, and will not ever, understand…but I do understand that they might work for you!

Have you had experiences where you’ve had to “train” your child? What works best for you and your family?

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Filed Under: motherhood, toddler