Don’t worry, I won’t fulfill that title…but there’s times when I want to. I feel more content, secure, and calm when I’m at home with my boys. Especially now that I have 2 kids to go out and about with. It’s January 8th today and I’ve only left my house twice in the new year. Not totally unusual, especially during a Canadian winter, but I’ve wanted to get out more but just don’t have that extra “push” that I need. Also? I start to get a bit anxious at this baby age. Ethan is 12 weeks old now and he’s well past the stage of blissfully sleeping through anything and everything when we’re out and about. Especially with a very loud Big Brother who never.stops.talking. I start like the age of 6-7 months where their naps are predictable and they can be sitting in the shopping cart awake and looking around. But…also I don’t want to wait 3 months for that to happen, obviously!
The kids do very well, I’ve found. It’s just mommy’s nerves that get tested when we’re out. All 4 of us were actually out last week. We went out to a restaurant for lunch, for the first time since Ethan was born, then went to Walmart, and we were going to go for groceries after. Well, Ethan woke up as soon as we stopped in the restaurant parking lot. He was a bit unsettled (and very tired) at the restaurant so I took him out of his car seat and nursed him. He was wide awake and for some stupid reason (especially now that I look back on it), this made me really anxious. Like I said, in hindsight, it’s REALLY not that big of a deal that he didn’t want to nap. He was still a bit unsettled for him, but nothing a soother wouldn’t fix. We made it through Walmart and were on our way to the grocery store when he started fussing and squirming in his car seat and my instinct was to throw in the white towel and head home. Jay was kind of shell-shocked when I “ordered” him to drive past the store and head home. I told him I was getting anxious and that I’d rather just go home. I even had his HELP that day and I just felt like I couldn’t do it.
That’s not me. I have my moments in mommyhood where I certainly get uppity and anxious, but not like that. That incident is what lead to this post about feeling like I can’t find balance in my life. That’s not me. I don’t give up.
I feel so much better having talked with Jay about how I’d been feeling lately. Working out is also helping a TON. And blogging, of course!
Anywho, I took the boys out to Costco today all by myself, and you know what? We all survived and did awesome! I should let you know that living rurally where we do, Costco is a 2 hour round-trip…it’s not a nice 15 minute drive down the road! I timed it for Ethan’s 2nd nap and he napped maybe about 45 minutes on the way there, woke up in the parking lot and very happily sat in the car seat in the big shopping cart bright eyed and smiling at me. Braden was extremely well-behaved and sat in the cart like a boss. Braden usually wants in and out of the cart, but I told him since we had Baby Ethan with us, he wasn’t allowed to do that and he was totally good with it. We even stopped, went to the bathroom, and had lunch! They both slept on the way home and it was peacefully brilliant.
So when I’m feeling like it would be easier to stay home and make sure Ethan has his naps and that life on the whole would just be more calming hiding dans la maison…remind me of this trip today and the fact that Ethan is currently having a great 2+ hour nap and won’t be asleep at 6:30 PM like he is every other night!
Do you/have you ever come across situations that get you a little bit anxious?