It’s true. It’s why we live our lives the way we do and make the choices we make. Where we go wrong? Is publicly judging those who have different opinions, thoughts, and practices than us, especially regarding parenting.
I believe that breastfeeding is best, that’s why I breastfeed.
I believe cloth diapers are the best choice for my family, therefore I use cloth and not disposables.
I believe in sleep training my babies by teaching them to soothe themselves using crying-it-out for the betterment of my family.
I believe in potty training at a young age (2) because it can be done and it’s possible.
I don’t babywear because I wore my babies already for 9 months.
I don’t co-sleep because then I wouldn’t sleep.
I make my own baby food because I feel it’s cheaper and healthier.
I believe in disciplining my son by giving him time outs.
I believe in polite children and expect mine to have manners by teaching them and providing a good example.
I believe in public schools so my children will attend them.
BUT. This does not mean or translate to…
I hate formula.
I hate disposable diapers.
I hate co-sleepers.
I hate babywearers.
You get the point.
Like I said at the beginning of the post: we have a naturally tendency to judge others who don’t make the same choices, in this case parenting choices, as us in life. It’s natural, it’s human. BUT, I don’t believe this gives us the right to judge and publicly shame a parent for choosing the opposite of what we do. My judgments have NEVER have affected how I feel about other mothers and their children. Do I wonder why you don’t sleep train your child when they’re up every 2 hours as an 18 month old? Sure! It seems logical to me to just sleep train, because that’s what I would do. Do I understand there’s no way you could let your baby cry and sleep train? YES!
I am very passionate about breastfeeding. Does this mean that I don’t support your right to supplement or formula feed your baby? Absolutely not and you would NEVER catch me doing it on here or anywhere else. But then, in turn, should I be made to feel bad about my passion? Does my advocacy make formula feeders feel inferior or judged? I’m sorry…but that’s not my intent nor my fault. It’s yours. We all have a choice in how we feel. If me tweeting about my right to nurse in public being just as equal as a mom feeding her baby a bottle, makes you feel judged? That’s your take on it, certainly not my intent.
I’ve never done a post on “The Mommy Wars” I think it’s been posted to death. But I just wanted to say it’s normal and human to judge people…just don’t do it publicly!
**ETA: So, this post hasn’t been live for half a day and I’ve gotten the most disagreement, I’ll say, on any blog post I’ve ever written. I understand that the actual word “judge” seems very harsh. If you look at the definition of it, it reads: “To form an opinion or estimation of after careful consideration”. Not so scary now, is it? It does not mean “stand up on soap box and claim thyself holier than thou for your decisions made”. My sister-in-law sent me this article on judgment today in light of all the negativity surrounding this blog post and I think you need to read it too. Thanks for those who have supported me in this blog post and can see what point I was attempting to get across. At the end of the day, I do not want any mother to feel judged publicly, I was just trying to say that we are all human and we make judgments every day…well, I do anyway. I guess there are people in this world who claim to not judge, though I find it hard to believe.