I know that my post the other day might have rubbed people the wrong way. Okay, I know it did. I certainly didn’t mean for it to cause problems or make matters worse, but like a lot of things in this world…blog posts can be subjective and some people interpreted my post differently than I intended for my message to get across. I get it. It’s part of the blogging world and not everyone’s going to love everything I say. That part, I get. Another part of the blogging world are comments. I cannot shake this and need to post about it. I don’t want to give her the spotlight, but I have to get this off my chest because it has affected the way I’ve felt since she sent it. I received this comment:
I judge people who CONSTANTLY complain about their baby doing normal baby things like spitting up, taking short naps, and not sleeping well at night. No one else care how much or how little your baby sleeps. You know what you signed up for, so deal with it. Complaining doesn’t do any good.
You know what? That hurt. I’m a strong person, but sometimes words are like daggers and that comment cut me. I made light of it, sure, by tweeting to the world that I wasn’t allowed to complain anymore and that I was the first mother ever in the world to start complaining. I’m not writing this post because I feel like I have to defend my choices and to prove myself to this cowardly commenter who doesn’t even have the courage to put a real name or email behind her harsh words. I’m writing this because, quite frankly, I’m pissed off and just need to write. You all have helped me in my darkest hours more than you know.
This baby will not.stop.puking tonight and mommy is on the brink of tears. I am so grateful for this precious baby and I try so hard not to complain, especially because he smiles the whole way through, but I feel on nights like tonite with just a few hours of broken sleep…like I can’t take it anymore. I lay him down – he pukes. I burp him – he pukes. I pick him up – he pukes. I think maybe he needs to eat because he’s puked so much – he pukes…on me. We’ve gone through 2 sleepers and 2 sleep sacks in the last hour. I don’t know how to help him and make it stop. For something so insignificant as a pukey baby…I have my weak moments and just don’t know what to do. I don’t like how frustrated it makes me at 5AM. Lord give me patience and compassion in these hard times!
It doesn’t get anymore real for me as a mother than in the middle of the night when I feel all alone. I rang 2013 crying alone in my baby’s nursery. That is MY HEART written under an Instagram picture. And for someone to then comment on how I’m “complaining ” about my baby doing “normal baby things like spitting up “… Have some compassion. I’m doing the very best that I can. I love my children with all of my heart, but you can’t tell me when my baby spits fountains (literally) of puke until you think there’s nothing left and I’ve changed his outfit 3 times before he’s left the changing table, and that sometimes he can only sleep 30 minutes because his tummy bugs him and he wakes up and immediately pukes… You’re telling me that’s normal? The only reason it hasn’t completely freaked me out, is that it rarely causes him any pain or discomfort and he’s clearly gaining weight like crazy and is 99% of the time happy and smiling through it all.
Did you know my baby did not nap yesterday? He had a 20 minute nap in the morning before church, he caught a few minutes on the way to church, slept in my arms for about 20 minutes during church, caught a few more on the ride home, and then was up for 4.5 hours until a really early bedtime of 6PM? That’s.Not.Normal. I know he’s not the first baby in the world to go on a nap strike, but it makes for a very trying day. My saving grace is my extremely supportive and helpful husband, and a baby who smiles through it all.
So when she says “complaining doesn’t do any good.” She’s right in that complaining to Ethan about how much he pukes isn’t doing us any good. Do you think he likes it? Probably not.
Where she’s wrong is that it has done me a HECK of a lot of good to complain to the world. You know why? Because YOU have been there for me. Deep in the trenches of motherhood at 3AM covered in puke.
You have let me know that I am not alone.
You have let me know that “this too shall pass”.
You have offered me helpful suggestions.
You have sent me Scripture that has encouraged me.
You have said that you are up at the exact same time dealing with the exact same thing.
You have been where I am, you have survived. It will get better.
So thank you, my warrior mommies, for supporting me through the good times and the not so good times. I won’t let that bad apple ruin the whole bunch. I have a hard time believing that someone who could write such a hurtful comment is actually a mother (I assume she’s not) and if she is, I guess she has perfect babies and nothing to complain about. If she isn’t a mother, like I suspect, I pray for her that she will learn compassion and look back at how much hurt she has caused, not just me – but several other bloggers, with her callous and irrational comments.
I keep thinking of that thing “they” say, that someone who says things like that, someone who is a bully, tries to hurt you so that they can bring you down because they themselves are hurting that much. I’m praying for you, anonymous commenter. I pray that you would let go of whatever pain and hurt the world has caused you and that would learn to feel compassion for others and not take it out by anonymously commenting on several blogs repeatedly.
So thank you, a million times over, to all of my family, friends, blog readers, and people who follow me on Instagram and Twitter…you are my warriors and I cannot thank you enough for being such great pillars of support when I have needed you the most.