As many of you know, Braden has 2 comfort objects. His beloved blankie and his soother. Collectively known (by him) as “duckie soo”. I really wanted to keep his soother around for selfish reasons. I wanted him to have it on our plane ride to Maui in hopes of helping with his ears, and also just to have an extra comfort item to rely on. Lately he’s been using it mostly for teething. So to bridge the gap between his soother an no soother, I gave him a Molar Muncher that I bought off a steal site awhile ago. He’s used it now and again over the months, but always preferred his soother.
The next few days can be broken down like this:Day #2: No nap and fussed for 20 minutes at bedtime. Meanwhile, I’m at work texting back and forth with Jay while tweeting to the world in desperation as to whether or not we have made the right decision. Should we have taken it? Should we wait until he’s done teething? Is it really that bad? We decided since we invested so much time already into the no soother thing…we’d just push through it, because it would be harder if we had to give it back and take it away again.
Day #3: No nap and fussed for 5 minutes at bedtime.
Day #4: No nap and fussed for 20 minutes at bedtime.
Day #5: Finally had a 2 hour nap after he fussed for 20 minutes or so and about 5 minutes of fussing at bedtime.
It’s times like this that I am so thankful that we sleep trained him with SleepEasy. If you want, just click the links to look through my old posts, but the gist of it is…Braden knows how to self soothe and put himself back to sleep. If I followed SleepEasy by the book, he shouldn’t have kept his soother in the first place. At the time (and I still don’t regret it), I did not want to take EVERYTHING away from him when we sleep trained and felt it was necessary for him to keep his soother. Also, I never, ever was running into his room to put his soother back in his mouth 50 times a night…so nothing like that was changing for us.As I said before, Braden was having problems settling to sleep. This happened over Christmas at Mom’s and it was even happening at home the odd time. I knew this would happen in Maui too. Pretty much every nap and bedtime for the first 3 days was up to 10 minutes of crying/fussing but then he’d be totally settled and sleep right through his nap or the night and wake up happy. This is always the sign of a well-rested Braden: waking up happy.
Had we not used SleepEasy for him or had he not been able to learn the art of self-soothing in one way or another? I imagine I would be in his room for HOURS reading books, singing rocking, praying, and begging for him to go to sleep. Not how I want to spend my should-be-child-free time on vacation….trying to get said child to sleep! I did spend extra time before lying him down singing and rocking with him and making sure he was nice and calm, but he would still fuss and cry for a bit.
I know there are tons of mamas who would disagree with letting Braden cry it out (CIO) but there is no other option for my family! I’ve done my research, Braden knows he’s not abandoned, he’s very much loved and comforted by us throughout the day. If I ran to him EVERY time he fussed or cried…neither of us would sleep, neither of us would be well rested and happy. He hasn’t been a fall-asleep-in-my-arms baby sincee he was that…maybe the last time at 4 months? This way? We all get a full night’s sleep at the price of him fussing (not even full on CRYING) for up to 10 minutes.
Has your 2ish year old(s) gone through this phase? He’s fussing almost every night, even though we’re at home now? I don’t know if it’s a new development stage? The soother? 2 year molars? Combo of everything or nothing? Just wondering your experiences!
Anywho, the soother is GONE! He hasn’t even asked for it since we have taken it away, we’re not looking back now!
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[…] right before Braden’s 2nd birthday and he had a Thomas party! The day after he turned 2 we ditched the soother and he did really well…I think it was harder on […]
Thanks, Melissa! I would love to know more about the effects for dental reasons. Just pushes the teeth forward? I have also read some research that say that it doesn' affect the speech as badly, but my Mom says her speech path at work says it does. Who knows! I just wanted it gone!
I personally don't CIO but to each her own! Levi (our 19 month old)is getting his 2 year molars and its been tough–I feel bad for him! He never took a pacifier but he likes to go to sleep with wierd things like cooking spoons. 🙂
Yay big boy Braden with no soother. I'm glad it wasn't too traumatic for you.We did our version of sleep training & CIO too, though I never read the book. Hayden had a major sleep upset after turning 2. I think his was a lot related to molars, he didn't nap for a week. And since he is in a toddler bed, we couldn't just let him be in there & bother the other 2. Eventually he learned & fell back in to his pattern. My kiddos are doing a lot of procrastination at bed & nap time though. Exerting their independence "No tired. Ya-ya go play."
The more I read and talk to people, seems there's some sleep disturbances around 2! Braden seems to have it figured out…for now! Napping well again and not fussing near as long at night anymore. Braden is also learning the art of procrastination at bed time! I can't believe it! If I put Braden to bed he says: "Night night Daddy? Night night Kiki?" wanting to say goodnight to Daddy and the dog…and cats before he goes to bed! Silly boy!
Aww. Cute. I let Dustyn CIO when he was 9 months. He never took a passy but he did nurse to sleep. I just stopped letting him nurse to sleep. The first night was really hard but it got better. He could be fussing cause of teeth. Have you tried teething tablets?
They not only do dental damage if used to excess, ie more than bedtime, but they can do all kinds damage to their oral motor development and affect their speech. You can often notice how a child will hold their mouth partially open, with their tongue thrust forward… that is most often from continual and extended use of a soother.
I just weened my almost 2 year old from his pacifier and it went something like yours did. I felt awful because I think he was using it more as a teether for his 2 year molars. However, from a dental perspective, it had to go. He is getting better at sleeping at night. (The sitter has had him broke of it at her house for a while now! Go figure!) My older son it was so much easier for, but I think it was because he knew he had to give it up because we said pacifiers were for babies and his baby brother needed it. Well, no more babies around to use that saying with, so it has been as hard on me as it has been on him. I wish you luck. Hang in there and know that you are making the best decision for you and your son. 🙂
So what was happening dental-wise? Any visible signs of damage or effect from teh soother? We are almost 2 weeks in now and it was as if it never existed! I'm so happy it's just gone!!
I still let Natalie cry it out. When she was 11 months old I finally had to show her some tough love and let her cry it out and she finally started sleeping the night. And she's been good ever since up until now. We recently put her in a big girl bed and for the first couple nights she was ok. Now she has full on hysterics when I put her down. So I let her cry it out because I know that she's only crying to get me to open the door And the minute I do she stops haha.
I can't imagine having to run to Braden every time he made a peep. Sleep training saved us all! We're all well rested and much happier during the day. I'm TERRIFIED of putting Braden in his big boy bed. Loves his crib a LOT, so I'm going to keep him in it until I need it for baby #2 whenever that is!
G has no soother or lovey which I find interesting. Although DH and I didn't either as children so maybe thats okay for her. I've tried putting things in her crib and she just throws them on to the floor. Sometimes I wish she would take a lovey. I am so proud of you for sticking with it. We are also going through a weird fussy stage before naps and bedtime, but I'm guessing its a growth spurt.
We did our own version of sleep training, and it's worked well. I can't imagine what it would be like if he didn't know how to self soothe. I actually have a whole bunch of questions for you… Maybe I'll just write an email haha. Braden looks so sweet and happy and I'd just love some outside feedback (read: not close family and friends).
And that's the whole basis of it, isn't it? Self soothing! It's not about being mean, not caring, and making your child suffer…it's about them learning to self soothe! Feel free to write me an email!